How did I even get here ??

Well it’s October 2020 now, this time year last time I was on my way to Europe with the love of my life to have our beautiful wedding with a hundred of our closest friends and family. I was over the moon with joy and love, and I had it all ! Or I thought I did.

I had a thriving career, I was financially set, I had a nice husband, a beautiful home, good friends, I was healthy and so were my parents.

I am a dentist, and a very successful one at that. Recognized by my peers, and awarded for it too. I have a thriving practice, and I only work 3 days a week. Sounds like a dream? Well just keep reading.

Let me elaborate on “The Nice Husband” , the love of my life, the man I decided to marry, decided he didn’t want to be married shortly after our dream wedding. Of course this decision was right when the entire world shut down due to the covid-19 global pandemic.

I felt like someone just pulled my beautiful persian rug right from under my feet.

I was at home ALONE. Really alone, closed the doors to my business, my now ex-husband was in another state, my parents and brother were in another country, just me and all my thoughts. It was a dark and ugly three months , the worst time of my 40 years so far. Well I was 39 when I was sitting on that beautiful rug , somewhere in the middle of all of this I jumped into a new decade and was left on a cold bare floor.

Since I was a child I was always told to strive for the next best step, graduate high school with honors, do well in college, get into dental school, graduate high honors there too, buy a house and a business and be successful. Then find a husband and get married and have 1.5 babies! And I did 90% of that, without blinking an eye and really searching for what I really want.

But what is it that I truly want ? I was going so fast with blinders on that I never saw what was in my peripheral vision.

I guess I like my job, part of the time, I guess that’s good enough? But who are we kidding most days I hate dealing with staff drama, unreasonable patients, and the always lurking fear of what will come next. Why dentistry ? Because I thought I would be good at it, which I am, and make a descent living which I do. But life is not about just good enough and making money , I never had time to find my passion, non the less pursue it.

In those dark few months it was just me and my shattered personal life, and my true and dark thoughts and feelings about my career choice. A career I had worked in for 14 years, and spent 8 years of training for 22 years of my 40 years.

So this is how I got here! I have so much to say and no one to tell it to. Hence starting The Authentic Doc Blog.

Stay tuned…….

5 thoughts on “How did I even get here ??”

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