Category: Miscellaneous

To stay that 2020 was the strangest year of most of our lives is an under statement, and believe me I have seen quite a bit over the years and in my childhood, but 2020 has it’s own category.

A part of me feels like the year just passed bye in a flash, and another part of me feels like it was the longest year of my life.

I like many others have had some major challenges and it’s been a very difficult year overall, it feels as if I have been traveling in a dark tunnel all year with no flashlight. However as 2020 comes to and end, and we head into 2021 there is a distant light visible at the end of that tunnel.

The universe has a way to make you so uncomfortable and so desperate, to literally MAKE you move and make a change. Not all paths are free and clear of obstacles, very few are lucky enough to find that golden light lit clear path in life. If we can accept that those obstacles are placed in our path, strategically, to help move us and motivate us to make those necessary changes we so need, and perhaps avoid, we are one step ahead.

For me personally 2020 was a hard reset, reset of my personal and professional life. I am not quite sure what awaits me in 2021 but I do see that glimpse of a light in the end of this long dark tunnel.

What I can offer you is that, whatever your challenges have been this year or in the past, really look for the silver lining , the positive change that arose from your hardship, there is always one, even if hidden. Once you find it, nurture it and follow it, because it is the universe telling you something.

Happy New year and Happy hunting for the light at the end of your tunnel.

There are days that I look at my path ahead, and the idea of my “Life’s to do list” scares me, and I feel stuck in a quicksand of my thoughts.

The idea of leaving dentistry, a career that I have built for 14 years and studied 8 years for, is really scary. It’s especially scary because dentistry and being a business owner is part of my identity, and I still don’t know what I’m truly passionate about, and what my next step will be. What I can say for certain is that I am working on it and I know I will find my way, with some ups and downs in the process. When you attend professional school there’s not a lot of time to explore and find your passion, you just go go go straight from high school, to college to professional school and then to work. A lot of us build a career based on what we know about ourselves in our 20’s and what little knowledge we have of the world, and years later many of us realize that is not what we were meant to be doing.

If one can find their strength, and combine that with their passion, and an industry need then you have the Golden answer!

When I think about the idea of leaving a career, and building a new one, rebuilding myself and finding love again, while working on my health and wellness all at the same time, it feels like a daunting task. In my mind I think anyone who has been through this journey, has done so with the support of a spouse or partner and or family members. Even if they had no support, at the least they didn’t have to fix every aspect of their life at the same time. But is that really true? Or is it just a thought? and more importantly is this thought serving me?

Then I think about what I just wrote on my last blog,

“Be THANKFUL for what you have, and you will end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough”

Such wise words spoken by Oprah Winfrey. This is the trick that our minds play on us, and want to always pull us towards Scarcity and Fear. But in reality if we look at life from an abundant point of view, and just change the way we think about things, and they way we talk to ourselves we can make any thing happen.

Just my thought download for today.

Today I woke up at 4:30 AM before my first alarm went off. I know we can’t always wake up that early, but when you do you make the best of it. So today with the intent of starting the day right, I got in my 30 minutes of yoga ,did my quickie 5 min meditation, did all the stretches prescribed by my physical therapist. Yes, yes, at 40 I have seen the physical therapist a thousand times already, thanks to having a career in dentistry. I work to make money, but then I have to return that money to the massage therapists and physical therapists to stay limber. The irony of it all!

So now it’s 7am and I made myself a Matcha almond milk latte -yum-, and I took my leisurely 20 minute walk to work. I was starting the day off on a GREAT note, until work intervened.

As a 40-year-old single woman with no kids you would think that I can determine how my day pans out ,and I have some control over my own schedule. Nope. Most days I don’t even know where the day went. I always intend to be “in the moment” but I’m lucky if I have time to eat my breakfast, lunch or go to the bathroom. You may think that’s atypical but that is a basic day in a dentist’s life. We run around like headless chickens going back-and-forth trying to keep up with the endless demands that are put on us. To add insult to injury we don’t even get to hustle in a cute outfit, these days thanks to covid we are covered up head to toe in PPE.

I just think life is too short for us to be constantly running on these little wheels like little hamsters, faster and faster until we just crash.

So the end of the day comes, of course a few hours later than expected, and I am a dead woman walking.

I know there is another version of my life waiting for me, with peace, health, and mindfulness.

I started this day with a mindful state of mind, the day took it away from me for the most part, but I came back to my Zen space by taking the time to write this blog .

My take home message from today’s experience was that ,we all need to learn to prioritize ourselves and our needs, and not just our work and to-do lists.

Why are we always afraid? What if I’m not successful at finding what I love and want ? What if I won’t make enough money? What if I fail? What if I don’t meet the right person? What if I don’t lose the weight I want? What if, what if, what if.….Where did we learn this from, the scarcity and fear? It’s just our brains way of keeping us safe, by constantly scanning for danger, even if it doesn’t exist.

We all want nothing more than to get to that place where we feel abundance, and true gratitude for everything that we have and have had. But how does one get from scarcity to abundance. There are so many books and guides on this, and the most common recommendations are.

–Focus on gratitude to create an abundant life.

–Surround yourself with people who have an abundance mentality.

–Focus on your unique strengths.

–Do more of what you love.

DO MORE OF WHAT YOU LOVE ? But what if you don’t know what you love?

I know that sounds silly but I still don’t know what I love at 40, even though I am considered a successful professional business owner by most standards. So for today all I can do is start with my gratitude list, and continue to search for my passion and what fans my flame.

Well it’s October 2020 now, this time year last time I was on my way to Europe with the love of my life to have our beautiful wedding with a hundred of our closest friends and family. I was over the moon with joy and love, and I had it all ! Or I thought I did.

I had a thriving career, I was financially set, I had a nice husband, a beautiful home, good friends, I was healthy and so were my parents.

I am a dentist, and a very successful one at that. Recognized by my peers, and awarded for it too. I have a thriving practice, and I only work 3 days a week. Sounds like a dream? Well just keep reading.

Let me elaborate on “The Nice Husband” , the love of my life, the man I decided to marry, decided he didn’t want to be married shortly after our dream wedding. Of course this decision was right when the entire world shut down due to the covid-19 global pandemic.

I felt like someone just pulled my beautiful persian rug right from under my feet.

I was at home ALONE. Really alone, closed the doors to my business, my now ex-husband was in another state, my parents and brother were in another country, just me and all my thoughts. It was a dark and ugly three months , the worst time of my 40 years so far. Well I was 39 when I was sitting on that beautiful rug , somewhere in the middle of all of this I jumped into a new decade and was left on a cold bare floor.

Since I was a child I was always told to strive for the next best step, graduate high school with honors, do well in college, get into dental school, graduate high honors there too, buy a house and a business and be successful. Then find a husband and get married and have 1.5 babies! And I did 90% of that, without blinking an eye and really searching for what I really want.

But what is it that I truly want ? I was going so fast with blinders on that I never saw what was in my peripheral vision.

I guess I like my job, part of the time, I guess that’s good enough? But who are we kidding most days I hate dealing with staff drama, unreasonable patients, and the always lurking fear of what will come next. Why dentistry ? Because I thought I would be good at it, which I am, and make a descent living which I do. But life is not about just good enough and making money , I never had time to find my passion, non the less pursue it.

In those dark few months it was just me and my shattered personal life, and my true and dark thoughts and feelings about my career choice. A career I had worked in for 14 years, and spent 8 years of training for 22 years of my 40 years.

So this is how I got here! I have so much to say and no one to tell it to. Hence starting The Authentic Doc Blog.

Stay tuned…….